Why this one feels different

I remember the week before my first marathon, I was nervous but exhilarated. The reasons for being nervous are obvious - 26.2 miles is a long freakin' way to run and I had never, ever done anything like it before. My first marathon was also my first race. I wasn't sure what to do or what to expect at the start, whiling I was running or through the finish line.

I also remember being exhilarated by the anticipation of finally achieving something I had set out to do 6 months prior. Training for my first marathon was a watershed moment for me because I proved to myself that I could accomplish something that had once seemed so unlikely. I was tired from the training, getting up early in the morning, putting in 5 to 10 miles before going to work. Yet, I remember feeling very strong during the taper like all those lower mileage days during the taper were easy strolls in the park compared to the higher mileage I had been putting in.

The week prior to my first marathon, over two years ago, was a good week.

This week, the week before marathon number 3, feels different. I don't feel particularly strong. I don't feel particularly ready. I don't feel any different today than I would if I had a 10 mile run planned for this coming week instead of a marathon. To be honest, I'm disappointed that I can't seem to recapture the nerves and anticipation.

One difference is that I think this marathon training cycle was too low mileage to truly challenge me. Granted, I was coming off a month-long layoff due to injury; however, this cycle has shown me that I can handle more and it is my intention to build up my base after the marathon by adding a fifth day of running each week. One day of cross-training will be replaced by another day of running.

Additionally, I've been distracted for the past few weeks with house buying. Going through the negotiation process for buying a house has been stressful and frustrating for me. I haven't been able to sleep well with my mind racing between "will we or won't we get this house," "what will we do if it falls through," "what will we need if it does go through." The lack of sleep has meant that my taper weeks, weeks that are meant to be restorative and confirmative of all my hard work, have been less than both of these things. (The only positive out of marathon training and house buying at the same time is that I can truthfully state, "I ran 20 miles and bought a house within 2 hours of one another!")

I've been so distracted that I haven't had time to get nervous or excited about the marathon. Rather than being the thought at the front of my brain, running this marathon has nearly become lost in life's madness. I hate seeming so cavalier about running a marathon but the past few weeks my attitude has been one of "oh yeah, I'm doing that too."

I want to run this marathon well. I want to finish strong. I want to feel good about my time, whatever it is, because I gave it all I got. I need to figure out how to bring the marathon back in to focus in the next couple days (if it is even possible).

Today’s Daily Dozen:
35 minutes - elliptical